I often have super high expectations for summer. Time with the kids full of fun. A time free of teaching lessons all morning long. Hours of lesson plans coming together for the next school year. Lots of website posts. Game nights. Healthy meals with lots of guests coming over to eat. Like our 5 Easy Steps to Hosting a Meal Night article.
But I have noticed something interesting. It really doesn't matter what we have done during the day...by bedtime the enemy tries to come knocking on the door.
- You sure didn't reach Brady today...did you even have one good conversation?
- How many lesson plans have you prepared so far? Zero...loser.
- No work done today at all...what a total waste.
- Dinner had no veggies and lots of starches...or sometimes...cereal for dinner?
- You really blew it with Elizabeth Jane, frustrated and yelling-really?
- Have you seen your house? It's a pathetic mess and you were home all day.
- Do you even know how to play?
- What about that friend you have been planning to meet and you still haven't?
I have one word for these scenarios...ENOUGH!
Why do I expect myself to be everything to everyone? I don't expect this of any other person on earth..but I think I should be Super Mom AND Super Christian. Why do I place this unrealistic set of expectations on myself. And sometimes I let My To-Do List Run Me.
I have spent to many years as a rescuer and this year I am turning a new leaf. (Reading Kris Vallatton's book Loving on Purpose has been a game changer.) Only one rescuer is needed and He is more than enough.
I am only 1 person. I was never meant to fulfill all the needs of everyone else.
So this summer is looking different.
Because guilt and condemnation are not from the Lord I am going to
shut them down when they begin to rear their ugly heads.
1. I am going to be kind to me and make it a point to celebrate the wins in everyday. (There always are some, even if the enemy tries to convince us otherwise...just doing this practice is a win!)
2. Each morning I am going to be thankful for the new day. His mercies are new every single day and I am going to walk in them. No more caring guilt from one day into the next.
3. I am going to let the Holy Spirit lead me to the most important situations of the day. His plan is always the best.
4. Just because I see a need doesn't mean I am supposed to meet that need. Sometimes we place ourselves into situations that we have absolutely no business being in the middle of. And unhealthy people seek out people who will meet their needs so they do not have to.
5. When I fall short I am going to forgive myself, clean up any messes I have made with someone else promptly and in a healthy way. I will learn what can be learned from the situation and walk forward.
6. I will play more and chose to focus on the kids during that time, without distractions.
7. Even as a stay-at-home mom I will refuse to fill guilty when I need to choose to work. I have an obligation to teach our kids that there is a time for work and play. All life does not revolve around their pleasure and entertainment.
8. Our home is under my authority and ultimately is my responsibility to run it well. But part of that responsibility is teaching my kids to run a home as well. They need to learn how to work.
9. My husband will be my priority over our kids. They need to learn to be a great spouse and what to look for in a good spouse...not just a good parent. Loving Taylor well demonstrates that to them.
10. I will do the thing that I am avoiding so that the enemy can't use that against me anymore. I am strong, powerful and capable to make my decisions and follow through.
Even typing these I realize that I need to make these personal affirmations. The article I wrote called Daily Affirmations explains more about what these are. You can click HERE for the printable version so that you can have them as well.
Life is absolutely too short to be ruled by guilt and condemnation. They are not healthy. This really can be a fresh start! Have grace for yourself in the journey and take baby steps as you walk out of guilt and into your true identity in Jesus Christ.
I am proud of you Mom. Every single step you take is a victory of sorts. I would love to hear from you about how you see yourself now and where you are headed!